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Archive for January, 2011

Sour Skittles – Sweet and Sour Reflections

I love Sour Skittles. Really. 😀 Those rainbow colored candies just make me smile… And my mouth pucker! Lol, I once asked a friend what candy he thought I was most like, and I was told, “Sour Skittles”. It’s stuck as a nickname for various web sites I visit, one such being the BabyCenter.com site. On there I’m known as SourSkittles+2.

It’s pretty much just me and my two kids now. There’s me, Kimberly, my 3 year old, Wendy, and my soon to be 1 year old, Nicholas. Their dad is having a hard time dealing with the fact that he and I are separated, and headed towards divorce, so for some reason he just doesn’t want to spend time with the kids. It’s sad, but I don’t know what to do about it.

My kids are my world, my life, my reason for living. Although at times I want to (as one of my friends posted on a site) “put my 3 year old out by the curb with a FREE sign stapled to her shirt”, I love the little monster dearly. Another friend calls this stage the “Trysome Threes”. Yikes! Lol! She’s a great kid with a great personality, but a very LOUD voice. My 10 month old is something else! He’s a mama’s boy through and through, and although I enjoy it for the most part, he can make getting things done difficult. It’s like when I put him on the floor to wash out a bottle or run back to my room to grab something I need, he just starts screaming because all he wants is for mommy to hold him.

I can’t believe he’s almost one. Time has flown by so fast! I feel as if I was pregnant with him just days ago! It’s also hard to believe I have a 3 year old too. As I look back over the last 10 years of my life, I am amazed that the best things didn’t start happening to me until about 4 years ago this March, when I realized I was pregnant with my daughter. Everything I knew or thought I knew about life went out the window the day she was born. Such a miracle! To start out smaller than the period at the end of this sentence to grow and develop into a five and a half pound perfect baby girl… Unbelievable!

2010 was a good year, it had a great start with my son’s arrival into this world, but it ended badly. Two days before Christmas I left my husband because he lost his temper for being asked to help make a bottle, and ended up attacking me with my (at the time 8 month old) son in my arms. He’s fine, I’m fine, but emotionally, I’m hurting so badly inside. I miss my husband terribly, but I don’t miss the insults, the fights, the emotional roller coaster ride. I hate being alone without him, but I’m not going to put up with it anymore. I’m not saying that it’s all his fault, because it’s not. I’m an imperfect being, who, when my feelings were hurt, hurt him back too. I wish I could go back and change it, but no one has invented a time machine yet.

But on a happier note, my son isn’t far from taking his first steps on his own! It’s going to be absolutely crazy once he figures out the whole walking thing, my life will never be the same. But I’m so excited about it!


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